A Little Fishy
by MYZ-chan
Summary: -JasdeviLenalee... sort of- In which Road sinks ships for fun, Tyki attempts to smoke underwater, Lenalee is strangely merciless, and Jasdevi despairs. Oh, the wonder of mythological parodies.


Word Count: 1,123

So, hi! It's been awhile since I've written this pairing as a one-shot, huh?

Oh, well. :)

Anyways, since I do have a love of mythological creatures, I decided to write this (which actually had been written a long time ago, but shh). And yes. The Noahs are mermen... mermaid.... people... fish. Yeah.

Enjoy?

* * *

"Let me go this instant!" Jasdevi howled, thrashing on the dry boat with all his might. "I demand you to let me go, human! Let me out of this net!"

Lenalee stared. "But you're supposed to be my dinner. I can't let you go until I chop up your tail and eat it."

Jasdevi stopped thrashing and stared at her. "You're kidding, right?"

The Asian girl shrugged and began pushing herself and the boat back towards land with her pole. "Well, a girl and her family has got to eat. You're the biggest catch I've gotten all day, too, so I figure you might taste as good as that shark fin my brother ate a few months ago."

He blanched, scales standing on end. "You ate a shark?" he managed to strangle out of his slowly going dry throat.

Lenalee frowned and stopped the boat again before reaching up above her and grabbing a few peaches from the peach tree leaning over the river. "I didn't eat the poor thing, goodness no. It was my brother who ate it. See, he took this knife, sharpened it, and—"

"I get it!" Jasdevi said, almost shrieking in his haste to stop the gruesome images forming in his mind. "Still, you have to let me go!"

She stared pointedly at him as she placed the peaches in a small sack by her side. "Why? You're my dinner."

"Because—" Jasdevi's mind whirled wildly as he began to search for his main excuse. "Because I'm a mythological creature! You have to let me go!"

"A mythological creature?" Lenalee laughed, leaning against her pole stuck in the water. "I doubt that you're the water dragon."

"I'm a mythological creature from children's fairy tales, you nitwit!" Jasdevi yelled out, starting to thrash again in the tight net encasing him. "Haven't you ever heard of mermen, kid?"

Her eyes startled to sparkle with amusement as she spoke. "Mermen? I haven't the slightest idea of what you're talking about."

"I'm from European mythology!"

Lenalee finally threw back her head and laughed. "If you haven't noticed, we're in Asia on a river in a Chinese fishing boat. I'm talking Chinese to you. I'm wearing traditional Chinese peasant clothes. What, did you think that somewhere out of the blue, some European man would come along and make me somehow read their language?"

Jasdevi somehow managed to scratch his head. "Kind of, yes."

Lenalee giggled. "I like you. You're funny." She picked up her stick and began pushing towards the mainland again.

"Whoa, whoa, wait," Jasdevi stuttered. "I thought you liked me. Let me out."

"I do. Which is why I will keep you by my house to entertain me."

Jasdevi despaired.

* * *

"Is Jasdevi back with dinner yet?" Road whined, swinging her fin back and forth in the water. "I wanted him to bring back some of the human's candy."

"Candy is bad for you," Tyki said monotonously, fingering the damp cigarette in his hand.

"Says you! At least it doesn't poison the water or my lungs!" Road glared pointedly at the (very damp) cigarette hanging between Tyki's fingers. "I want Jasdevi to come back home, already. Where is he?"

"Maybe he got captured by a human," Lulu Bell said quietly from the underwater doorway. "It happens, you know. Remember what happened to Skin? He was caught by a Japanese samurai."

Tyki took another damp drag on the cigarette after shuddering at the memory of little bloody fish guts floating back down into his bed. "Probably not. The kid's stupid, but not that stupid. He probably just took a wrong turn down the river, is all."

Road scowled very deeply before swiveling around and beginning to swim upwards.

"Where're you going, Road?" Cyril called after her, still lying in his bed. "I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"I'm going to go have some fun."

Tyki sighed, closing his eyes. "Don't sink an oil ship, okay? The last thing we need is to drink black sludge."

"I won't!"

* * *

Jasdevi flew into the small pond area with a splash. Spluttering, he came up for air and gulped it in furiously.

Kneeling on the small, wooden dock, Lenalee giggled. "I thought you were part fish."

"I'm not a fish!" he shrieked, grabbing onto the muddy bank with his gray hands. "I'm a merman, damn you!"

Lenalee rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Anyways, since you've told me repeatedly on the way here that you're mythological, what exactly can you do?"

After scrambling a little bit, Jasdevi grinned. Now this was something he liked to talk about. "I can sink ships by creating huge storms."

Lenalee stared blankly.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"If you can sink ships, how come you didn't sink mine?"

"Because that wasn't a ship. That was a life raft on a little thin river." Jasdevi tapped his chin in actual thought. "I can also sing."

The Chinese maiden snorted.

Jasdevi blanched. "What's so funny?"

Lenalee was now clutching her sides, giggling hysterically. "Nothing. Nothing, just, what kind of ability is it to sing?"

"It's a great ability! I can lure humans to me and then drown them!"

Lenalee took in a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "Oh, so it's kind of like you're playing the violent version of 'hard to get', right?"

"Exactly—hey, wait, no it isn't!"

She burst out laughing again and fell over onto her shoulder. "Ow," she wheezed, still laughing. "But that's really funny. It really is."

"It isn't!" Jasdevi splashed around a little bit in his new tank. "I swear, it isn't that funny! Stop laughing, stupid!"

After a little while, Lenalee finally sat back up, smiling broadly. "That's the most I've laughed in ages," she giggled, her cheeks turning a little rosy. "I feel a bit embarrassed by this. Sorry…wait, what was your name again?"

"I never told you it."

"Well, tell me now!"

Jasdevi stuck out his jaw. "No!"

Lenalee pouted. "Why not?"

"You trapped me here!"

"So?"

"So, I don't feel like telling you!"

Lenalee put her hands on her hips. "Don't be a spoiled brat."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not!"

"…Not!"

"Too!"

"Hah!" Lenalee pointed in triumph at the merman. "I win!"

Jasdevi cursed.

Lenalee smiled.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

Does Jasdevi escape? Does Lenalee let him go? Do the Noah family join together and rescue him? Or do the two live happily ever after? Not so happily? You get to decide!

Because I'm not continuing this. Shame.

But I hope you enjoyed it and had a good laugh.

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans out there! :)


End file.
